by Tim McGahren
(Lilburn, GA USA)
This is a cheap demolition derby car for sale, Please note, I will need 4 tickets to the demolition derby it is in if you want me to come down on the price. This car had all the bells and whistles, most of which are now silent.
Car runs and drives, fairly powerful. Imitates plane taking off at 45 mph, then rattles at higher speeds as if going down a cobblestone road. Could be the last car the next buyer drives (I.e. deathtrap)
Body in mostly very good condition for age, no major dents, but rear bumper has two small cracks in it from being hit. Most of the exterior of the car can be parted out, including alloy wheels.
154,100 + Miles
Electrical system nearly shot; dash comes on 10-15%, turn signals work 25% of the time.
Broken window actuators on both windows (Glass is good though). Drivers side was fixed twice before giving up.
Sunroof broken, and leaked prior to it coming off rails.
Puddles collect after strong rains on floors. Soothing for feet on hot days (see below). Owner throwing in a towel with this one. 5 cupholders. No heat/AC. Previous owners did science experiment on coolant system, filling it with orange sludge.
Newer front brakes 2016. Backseat never used for sex (as far as current owner knows). Water Damage on Dash and rear shelf area. V6 Engine, could put a hurt on other cars in the short term. Oil changes at 4000 miles. License plate light hanging out of housing like a sad lonely Christmas light. Airbags never deployed, but I am hoping they will be. Passenger seat does not fully function. Driver's seat works well enough to sleep off a drunkenness. Bright red, like the red in the American flag, not the Russian flag, or Chinese Flag, or Mexican Flag, or Japanese flag, or any flag with red in it that is not America, plus spoiler. Dome light works, but out of bracket when cosmetic panel on driver door was thrown in car due to it coming off the door, upon drying of cheap glue. You will now be able to use the dome like to interrogate perps in the back seat.
Cruise control works. Comes with free feelings of apprehension and fear. Car seems like it will really smash up well, as it looks nice but I need to see it happen.
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